Surviving the crowd is always something that I struggle with and along with that I probably miss out on a lot of grand adventures.
For example… we are looking at going to Victoria this weekend for the big July 1st Canada Day bash.
It’s a big deal as Canada celebrates its 150 year anniversary and there are events and happenings going on for 11 days.
Music, food, people and fireworks are only a few of the things on the schedule which you can see here.
It will be a fun-filled and a once in a lifetime event and yet I hesitate.
Not because I don’t want to participate, it goes even deeper than that.
The feelings almost come down to a sense of survival for me and it’s hard to explain or even voice.
I wrote something similar to what I experience when I’m in a crowd a while ago which might or might not explain these feelings.
Today I spent the day in town with people instead of trees.
Missed the trees.
It was really interesting. Around 3:30 in the middle of shopping, this voice popped into my head and told me to go home.
Of course… I argued but as it was so persistent I just put down what I was looking at and began the journey home.
It was all I could do to stay awake. I thought I was going to have to pull over and have a nap I was so tired and drained.
When I got home I just stopped the car, got out and started to walk towards the ocean.
There are huge trees in a park about a 5-minute walk right by the water and it was there that I was headed.
The trees were calling and I put my back up against a big cedar, listened to the waves lapping against the shore and recharged my batteries.
That was all I needed to do to restore my sense of self.
I literally felt like my energy had been totally depleted and I realized that today was probably the first day in about a month that I hadn’t been out walking or in the forest.
Then it hit me.
As I walk through the woods I just open up.
Open to give, open to receive and just allow the flow and exchange of energy.
I forgot that my system doesn’t work the same way around a lot of people and I forgot to monitor the exchange.
What a shame.
It doesn’t seem right that one should have to close off a part of them in order to maintain a healthy level of being.
Which started me thinking… what would it be like to be able to maintain that level of vibration in a crowd of people?
To be so grounded in my own being that external events do not influence my inner world.
To perceive life-based on total connection to source energy… a oneness with all that is.
To maintain my vibratory rate no matter what the circumstances surrounding me? Hmmm, feels good.
What comes to mind as I write this is to “be aware”.
To be aware of the ebbs and flows of energy and to follow that which feels good.
So I may or may not go to the 150 year anniversary, but either way, it will be okay.
If we stay home, I shall delight in my greenness and openness and if we go I will be more conscious of what feels good and where to take a step back.
Because… I always know where the trees are.
Off to dreamland and recharge…